colour me blind

November 12, 2009

I can’t spot the moment

I can’t see the movement

From when purple was my choice

to

Now…

I think its blue now…or pink…but not purple

it wears me heavy

 

Wishes Come True

November 11, 2009

Today wishes come true.

Ask me…

Asked.

Thank you.

 

I Carry a pencil Case

November 11, 2009

Today’s Rehearsal Topic

1. What do you miss about being single?

2. What do you miss about being in a relationship?

Answers:

1. Being in a relationship with my self. Taking care of only my self.

2. Kisses, being kissed, the last resort, the stable security blanket.

I carry a pencil case now. I used to. To hold my precious needs. Then it got bigger and bigger!

In my case I carry

1. Purple Pen, Pink Pen, Blue Pen

2. Black Pen

3. Measuring Tape

4. Paper Clips

5. Lip balm

6. Post it pad

7. Post it tabs

8. Saftey Pins

Maybe tomorrow I will give you my crazy reading of the one that carries such a pencil case.

 

 

 

Bleeding heart

November 9, 2009

There are holes in my heart

and my blood flows right through them

Will you turn and look my way

probably not, its too ghastly a sight isnt it

I am used to willing things to happen… but I can not will you

Will you bleed for me? Ever?

 

 

 

Pocket stones

November 8, 2009

They give out name cards to introduce their profile. To show someone who they are.

Then the beers,

and the alcohol in all concotions

and out tumbles pockets full of stories.

I love stories.

But here it is for me.

You keep the same ones in your pocket evening after evening. You keep taking out your same stones…

and each same time, your face lights up… you are excited when others light up with you… and you never tire of your same stones.

I apologise for not being as drunk as you and that I have heard the same ones all before.

I dont know yet what my pocket stones are…

I have one heavy dark one with a green sinister shine. And one light piece of carbon.

I’ll carry some happy stones

for me.

and some for you,

for when your alcohol tumbles out my pocket.

 

But here it is… I am The Touchstone for all you bring to the table.

November 8, 2009

The night began with a simple slice of Hawaiian Pizza and a glass of fruit punch.

A group of people I have not seen in a long time and people I no longer know.

Now I know the real difference between those you could always talk to and those that you cant because too much time has passed.

Chips and she has a rum and coke. We hide in the bedroom and talk about the morning.

sleep deprivation and a car accident. sleep deprivation and mums that get mad at us. sleep deprivation and soulless people.

The evening air changes when we arrive at Blue Jazz and we are happier. I am relaxed and I tackle a glass of beer quite happily. And I wonder what we all look like sitting there together. The ideas that run through peoples minds. I dont care for it but I am aware of it. So I am with a table of White men who are with asian girls. So I am out to have a few laughs. We make easy conversation and we introduce ourselves round the table.

left to right

Isreali-Jewish, Jewish-Chinese, Indian, English, Dutch-Indonesian Chinese, Mid west american?, Dutch, Indian, Chinese Peranankan.

What a happy crowd. And so with a crowd like that, there are stories that go all around! Why would nt it.

 

It was a wednesday night and we walked along the beach, my friend and I.

We had an early dinner and then a walk towards the bar. We ordered a glass of red and a glass of white. One for her and a lighter one for me. Somehow, we were relaxed and never expected the rain. Even when we could feel her, we said, no, dont move us into the shade, not yet, not yet, not yet.

Be a friend she said, when she began the story she could not finish. Be that friend that will not ask me to finish the story.

Lets meet another I said.

And a friend came by to say I liked a girl before…

And then another and another came by, rosy cheeked and flushed with the anger of a ruined evening.

Then the challenge was issued to me. Tell me what you know. Prove to me that you know something, entertain me, enthrall me if you dare, if you can.

I did didn’t I?

And I became the woman me. The one that will meet the rest of them, who will assess her, and listen to the tales…but never be the one.

*smile* but I know… I am the one for the one I am…and I will wait for my dream to come about… only time is between us now…